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4.6 ★★★★★
Based on 28 reviews
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Product Reviews
★★★★★ 5
Excellent book even though not exactly what I expected
Format: Paperback
I gave this 5 stars because I think depending on what you are working on, it could be. It wasn't as helpful to me. I was hoping for something that would tell me more about what "normal" people do because I know that I learned some odd ways of thinking and behaving when I was growing up. It did help somewhat in this, but I think the title is slightly misleading.
I recommend this as one of the first books to read if you believe that there might have been something dysfunctional about the way you were raised but you are not sure what or you're just starting your exploration of those issues. It's not a "parent bashing" book, but instead a kind and compassionate book on how to get better, not blame.
Chapter 19 about perfectionism resonated with me and gave some nice tips on how to deal with it. Unfortunately, that entire chapter is just two pages long, so it's not worth buying the whole book just for that.
It's an easy read and well written, so if you're on the fence, buy it. I think you'll get something valuable out of it.
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Reviewed in the United States on March 29, 2014
★★★★★ 5
My new ACA Bible
Format: Paperback
Whoever said it was too cookbook hasn't appreciated the the value of having a thorough one at hand. I loved the Friel's approach. It is a bit harder on the ego than the Woititz ACOA book but this one includes ALL dysfunctions, and I know even after years in recovery I will still find valuable resources in this book to guide me along my bumpy journey. As one who has NO idea what is normal, yet somehow manages to function at the basic level in society, I definitely appreciated the simple yet thorough approach used here.
This book isn't another "blame the parents--give you an excuse" soother. It requires that we take responsibility for our adult lives, recovery, happiness, misery, relationships, dysfunctional patterns & our future. This book shows me exactly what healthy (they don't believe in the statistical normal, to them normal means emotionally healthy, which is a far more useful definition of the ambiguous term "normal" anyway) living means, looks-smells-tastes-feels like! I can use this book as a check-up to see if I'm on the right track and if not, follow the suggestions or get further help.
Most of all this book helped me to recognize that recovery isn't an overnight process, can't be done alone in isolation, that I'm human and mistakes are actually a GOOD and WELCOME experience and do NOT have anything whatsoever to do with my self-worth. This book even includes several chapters on how to respond to con artists, abusers & generally rude, mean or unhealthy people. How to deal with zingers, how to set healthy boundaries & protect ourselves & our healthy boundaries, I could go on for pages praising this book.
I've bought numerous other self-help books & this one was the best. The authors do suggest waiting until one has 2+ years of recovery before tackling this book. To hell with that. Read it now, and every step of the way on your journey. Start feeling better about YOU & your life right NOW, today. Good luck on your journey, happy discoveries to you.
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Reviewed in the United States on April 20, 2001
★★★★★ 5
Important book
Format: Paperback
Got many insights from this book. Wonderful for healing
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Reviewed in the United States on August 30, 2024
★★★★★ 4
Book on dealing with life if you are an adult child of an alcoholic
Format: Paperback
This book is a quick read but it is filled with numerous examples for how to deal with situations that occur in life, from dealing with loneliness, stress, perfectionism, dealing with people who say inappropriate or abusive things to me, and parenting children etc. Recommend it to anyone who struggles with codependency.
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Reviewed in the United States on January 26, 2022
★★★★★ 5
Extremely helpful
Format: Paperback
I am GenX and was raised by boomers who joined a religious cult. This book is a step by step guide to my childhood issues. And it gives me validation knowing that I’m not crazy and there’s others out there like me. Great book. Highly recommend.
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Reviewed in the United States on October 19, 2022
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